Inspiration comes in the most unexpected ways.
For past few days we have been surrounded by an unprecedented amount of scare due to the novel corona virus pandemic. Lockdowns, suspensions, travel bans, closure of public events and spaces, all to avoid spread of infection.
But I have been facing a different scare of my own – Uncertainty.
When I was in India, I had a personality — which was developed over the years by understanding my environment and understanding the people around me. I could depend on this person that helped me make my way through what life threw at me.
But when I came to the UK, I felt like I lost touch with my personality.
New surrounding, new environment, a different set of people – all of this left me a tad bit flabbergasted. Initially it was easy to adapt and work around with the old me but with time I had to ‘upgrade’ myself to the new location and clime.
This is where the problem started. I was losing touch with my old personality and subconsciously, I started fighting the change, the upgrade.
It was like watching the old world with nostalgia goggles. Everything old was pink and rosy. Everything new was scary and bad.
These goggles started interfering with the future vision, even as I fought myseld to retain the glory of the past in order to avoid the uncertainty of an unknown future.
The last few days have been hell, as I procrastinated the tough talk I needed to have with myself. But, the self-isolation imposed by a suspected C orona infection (it wasn’t! it was one of the old infections) finally bought me back to my senses.
During these past few days I was doing the same thing we all do while procrastinating and avoiding the big questions that we need to ask ourselves: watch Netflix!
Funny thing. I randomly picked an old episode of an old show that I like which just happened to have the line that I needed to hear the most:
“Look, the future is scary. But you can’t run back to your past because its familiar. Yes, it’s tempting. But, its a mistake.”
Future is scary. Especially so far away from everything that I grew up with, from everything familiar. But, this is a step I have to take if I want to grow and flourish.
The past is beautiful, but it’s never coming back. So, what’s the point in trying to relive something that has already happened. The opportunity is here for me to experience something new, something beautiful. Even if it seems scary, it’s just the fear of unknown. And like every new experience in my life I can be confident that I’ll get through this too and it won’t be scary anymore. It would just be another beautiful experience.
I still don’t have answers to all my questions, but now I have clarity about at least one thing. And that’s still better than what I started with, No clarity at all. And with this I can restart my process of upgrading to a new surrounding.
This process will take time. It’s not easy for a whole personality to upgrade. It will take me few weeks to months to develop a new personality according to my surrounding, but when it does, it would be better suited for a new world and help me navigate it in a better way.
Take care and Wash Your Hands.